Over the last month, I have devised a new way to spank my kids.  It is not equivalent to the, “love pat.”  Modern spanking, in my house, involves lots of love and total compassion.  The spanking is delivered lightly and without injury.  There is only one goal behind the spanking:  laughter.

I say, “Rapid-Fire Spank Bottom!”  …whenever, I sense a change in disposition is necessary.  I am serious; I am not accepting their current behavior!

Communication is key to positive discipline and relationships…  However, kids are not always open for discussion.  My boys seem to love this interaction.  First, the spanking is delivered.  Second, we are both laughing.  After we settle down, we discuss optional ways to achieve their goal(s).

I do not spank, if I have an ounce of anger or fear.  I believe my kids desperately search my intentions.  I want them to understand my spanking is a diversion from unwanted behavior.  Skipping the battle of wills and power struggle, we are laughing into the next moment.  After the spanking session, they are ready to listen; or they are ready for a time-out.

Do you think this type of approach is healthy?  Instead of spanking or squeezing a wrist to get their attention, I am basically tickling them into submission.  Laughter leads to positive discussions.

Most panels and posts on spanking children for disciplinary purposes agree that physical harm is not the best means of getting a point across.  I believe positive discipline and laughter are my best means of parental influence…  Spanking is just for fun.

Father’s Day is here!

To me, a father represents a line that should not be crossed.  As the mother, loves unconditionally…  This framework is balanced, if the mother and father work as a team 24 / 7.  Imagine that!  Each moment, you are using synchronicity (masculinity and femininity) to set and accomplish goals and strategies.  Begin decision making from your gut, throughout your heart, then intellectualize it with your head.

Cranium = small% / 100% human experience

I think each parent must play the mom & dad roles simultaneously; ideally, you are sweating off anger and fear, as you live and breathe.  A parent’s love is critical; administrating child development with compassion   To allow a child to foster love and thanks, each parent is setting an example.  I admire all parents, especially those looking into their children to find gifts, lessons to learn, etc.  You are love….  Thanks.

My dad is alive inside my idealization.  He lived, not as an emotionally reactive hand slapper; He watched me make mistakes and helped me learn from them.  He dreamed huge dreams for me, and he shared a few…  I miss him because he showed me:  love and thanks.

Fathers can show you where you have stepped out of line, without making you feel inadequate.

Dads can make you feel like a hero, despite a coward-like disposition.

Here is a SHOUT OUT to say “Thank you!!” to all Dads, especially those who love being Dads!

As if I just woke-up, I now realize parenting is just living with greater intent.  In the past, I have looked at the meaning of life with a sense of bewilderment; I have also looked at my role as a parent until I was cross-eyed!

Previously, I thought I should satisfy my child’s needs as a servant or disciplinarian.  I pacified my inner child and my husband and my two boys, until the pacifier became toxic; we were all screaming to be heard; For us, this didn’t work. Change had to occur.

First, I surrender to universal truths.  Our universe has been created and sustained by energy.  This energy that resides in every life is healing, loving and accepting.

Second, I give my inner child attention.  I believe that if you consider your inner child, with lots of compassion, you will be “reborn” as a parent.

Finally, I embrace the current energy quality residing in my body.  Daily, I clarify my intentions.  I honestly attempt meditation, at the same time and place, every morning.  Yoga, a union with divinity within and a connection to infinity (God), is like icing on the cake.  After daily affirmations and stretching, I am ready to take on the day.

When I tap into creative energy, discipline comes naturally.  I accept my kids’ need to test boundaries.  I support my boundaries with unified intent for good will.  My kids are WAY more receptive to orders that do not come with guilt and “GRRR!”  Family Rules are delivered with love and compassion.

Bringing infinity into my existence creates abounding joy; I am thankful.  Gratitude and forgiveness create benefits, which spread from me into my family and my community.

I want to hear from you. Do you feel this life-centered approach to parenting is reasonable?  Can you sense that God is on your side with faith in humanity and good-will?  Or, do you think organized religion is needed?

Add housework to the list of things I look forward to doing. Don’t think I’m crazy, either.  Here’s the theory: housework is part of maintaining our lives. There simply is not an option of parenting without maintenance.  Why not love your job?  Okay, before you answer, I will offer my guidelines for loving this particular maintenance job.

First, I intentionally breathe into each required movement.  I feel it instantly. When I synchronize my body’s movement with life force (breath) and intention (well-being), I gain immediate benefit from the mind~body~spirit connectivity. Here’s an example: I breathe out as I squat or pick up a dirty garment, breathe in and center myself with love, breathe out as I throw the clothes into the machine. It might take a little practice, but the mindfulness makes me happier.

Second, I intentionally twist a little further than is required.  Many maintenance tasks involve twisting the trunk of your body:  dishes, laundry transfer and folding.  Twisting the trunk squeezes and releases toxins from your internal organs.  Enjoy dish-washing, knowing every dish gets you lighter, especially if you breathe into and out of the twist.  Breath in as you straighten, breath out as you twist. It’s really that simple.

Third, I improve my posture every time I reach for something on the ground.  Picking up clutter from the floor and washing a child’s hair (standing while they are sitting in the bathtub) can actually increase vigor instead of being another part of the grind.  Leaning over the bath is the same as doing a right-angle yoga pose (lengthen your body as you bend forward and keep your trunk outright, hips anchored, chin tucked and connected with muscles in your core).  And when you bend down to pick up toys,  bend at the hip crease and perform a slow-motion dive; keep your spine straight instead of bending your lower back.  This pose is wonderful for a good night’s sleep. You can also squat to invigorate your nervous system and improve alignment.

And, as enjoyable as these maintenance tasks can be when you make them yoga moves, it’s also yogic to delegate tasks to the kids.  I know that some tasks are more work for you when your child helps…  Delegate carefully.  If you just need to get stuff done without the kids interfering, try my method of talking to your kids about the value of a happy parent.  A speech about the benefits of a happy mom sends my 5-year-old right toward quiet, independent play every time.

Please, comment if you have additions to this approach!!  From every lemon, we can make lemon cookies, lemonade, lemon frosting, lemon-pepper linguini, etc.

I’ve discovered something recently. When I’m not appreciating myself, I’m not able to appreciate my kids.  When my kids don’t feel appreciated, they become over-sensitive to everything…  This snowball effect is a reoccurring bad pattern.  Determined to change this pattern, I’m striving for self-awareness.

Using my Hatha Yoga training I’m trying to balance as a person first, then as a mother.  I accept myself, as I am; instead of being disappointed or proud from an egotistic view of myself and parental performance.  Learning to live and let live…

Here are some guidelines that I use to map emotional reactions.  First, develop tender affection for your entire self: the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Use supportive and encouraging words when talking to yourself, then you will have more patience and ability to attend to your children and spouse.  Second, when you recognize a trigger for discontent, accept this opportunity for self awareness.  Think of your childhood and your ideal life in a broad sense to trace the source of discomfort within yourself.  Finally, take steps to change and heal this new found understanding of your needs.

Most important tip for a parent striving for self appreciation – breathe.  Breathe to enjoy a moment.  Breathe to separate yourself from a bad experience.  Breathe to appreciate where you are at this moment.  Breathe into empowerment.  Breathe into contentment.  Monitor your inhales and exhales; try to enjoy both inhaling and exhaling.