Did anyone feel the joy of family this holiday?

My family of four traveled across the states for a one-week holiday.  We jumped from grandparent to grandparent.  Each visit delighted the senses — and brought challenges.  After a while, our physical exhaustion and emotional highs and lows began to concern me.  Each day, another round of Christmas cheer was to be had — no matter what our physical condition.  When we returned to California, my husband and I were drained and caught a 24-hour stomach flu (thankfully, the kids didn’t get it).

Next year, I plan to do restorative yoga before and after every holiday event.  I’ve studied breathing techniques and meditation derived from the practice of Hatha Yoga.  Breathing into a calm state, despite the emotional and physical challenges of parenthood, usually allows my goals as a parent to remain consistent with my actions.  In 2009 I may have slipped, but I plan to recommit myself to the ideal, now.  Instead of pushing down feelings, yoga allows me to understand, learn and let go of emotions.  And, believe it or not, as I’ve gotten steadier I’ve witnessed an increased steadiness in my children.

Soon after I recovered from the holiday travels and illness, I saw a anti-socialism bumper sticker in the grocer’s parking lot.  The sticker had a picture of President Obama’s face with a clown face painted over it.  This bumper sticker has stayed in my mind but not because of the socialism message.  It stayed in my mind because it reminded me of something about parenting.  Like politicians, parents lead families through all imaginable circumstance; and often, we try to insist that everyone keeps a happy face painted on.

Parents and kids seem over-burdened by a need to fake happiness, whether its holiday cheer or everyday stuff.  I see parents paint on happy faces and teach their kids to do so in order to be popular or to seem like they have everything together.  This past holiday, I saw myself paint on a smile, and I’m sure my kids picked up on the falsity too.  I admit, it’s not what I want to teach my children…

Maybe every time we feel friction in our social surroundings, instead of faking a smile, we should look deeply into ourselves for answers and creativity.  Detachment from perfectionism and appearance may give you and your child the space to be honest.  When I let go of my ego, I am free to bond with my kids in truth.  2010 seems like a perfect year for being real and finding true joy.